And another year gone

So 16 years ago today on September 23rd, I became a mom for the second time. (Many, many people have commented on the similarity in birth dates between the oldest two - both the 23rd. Honestly, neither of them were planned...it was likely the long cold winter months that did it.)

Although my pregnancy was completely unplanned, it brought some light to a very dark time in my family - my dad had died almost exactly 9 months to the day that CW was born. My mother had become quite ill in the ensuing months. CW brought us happiness and joy in a year that had not had much of either.

Unlike his sister, he was a quiet content baby - literally only fussing when he was hungry or wet (and really, mostly only when he was hungry). And that has been his modus operandi for the past 16 years - never fussing, never (or very rarely) bad-tempered, and a nice kid who, at least once a day, tells his mother he loves her - even on the days when he likely thinks I am not the brightest bulb around. In turn, I am trying (very hard) not to nag him - he is so bright and I wish that he would realize that with a moderate effort, he could be at the top of the pack in everything he does. But that is not how he operates - he is going to do things his way - and "really, mom, let ME worry about it" - what ever the particular It is at that moment.

Since AE went off to school, he has become a fabulous older brother - she was always around to buffer his and MH's relationship. Now they have to work it out together - and although it has sometimes come to fisticuffs, they usually make up in a few short hours. I think he is actually incapable of holding a grudge. He shows such a genorosity of spirit - even when he thinks his parents are being jerks. Once he calms down, he usually sees our side of it - or if he doesn't, he will, at least, apologize for his behaviour. Many adults I know could take a lesson or two from him.

So happy belated birthday - middle kids have it a little rougher than those on either end of the birth order (speaking from experience). They often get less attention, less time and less parental energy. This can help - or hinder- their progress, depending on their personality. For you, CW - it is all good. You seem to blossom and do the best when you are left to handle your life the way you think it should be. And if it is not the way your parents think it should be - well, I am happy to say that you often prove us very wrong.

Love Mom

Happy Birthday Baby

19 years ago today I became a mom for the first time. As I write this , I was struggling through the last stages of labour and delivery, convinced that somehow they lied to me in pre-natal class because I did not remember them mentioning anything about PAIN.

And then she arrived. And as the doctor held her up, I was sure she was a boy (lack of sleep + the aforementioned PAIN + the position she was held in + the umbilical cord looking somewhat male - like = boy) And then I clued into my husband saying "It's a girl, Jan, it's a girl" and my heart exploded.

See, I really wanted a girl. But all the indicators were boy. The pre-natal heart rate, my shape, all the women on my case-load (I was in social services at the time) said "You're going to have a boy". Really, I was just so happy to be having a baby, that I said it didn't matter. And I am quite sure that it would not have, once s/he had appeared. But I REALLY wanted a girl in my heart of hearts.

And she was a lovely baby (I mean, once she got over that crying thing). She has never been what I would call a girly-girl - she has a normal (read not obsessive) like of feminine things, but she has always preferred books to fashion magazines (in fact, I don't think she has ever read one. A fashion magazine, I mean. But I can't be sure.) She has never, to my knowledge angsted about weight or looks (at least in the open and to my face). I think she is beautiful. And she is smart. And she uses her brains to get by in the world, not her looks. Which is great, because looks can be fleeting, but brains are forever. She is independent thinking, has a great (if somewhat sarcastic) sense of humour (that comes from her dad) and is starting to find her way in the world of grown-up. She is a great student and a wonderful writer. She loves to read (did I mention that already?), play the piano,cook, fence and even likes to knit. She has made good choices to this point, and I believe that she will continue to do so. She has a wonderful soul. She is a good sister (even if she does torment her brothers on occasion) and the best daughter one could ask for.

So happy birthday baby girl. And I am so pleased and proud that the armful of potential that we were handed on August 23, 1992 has turned out to be such a delight.